"Remove the plastic wrapper." - The first instruction on a bag of microwave popcorn; to see the instructions, one first has to remove the plastic wrapper and unfold the pouch.
"Take one capsule by mouth three times daily until gone." - On a box of pills.
"Open packet. Eat contents." - ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS.
"Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat." - Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11.
ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: - "Directions: Use like regular soap."
"Instructions: usage known." - Instructions on a can of black pepper.
ON A FROZEN DINNER: - "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
"Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants." - On a bag of cat biscuits.
"In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors." - In a car manual.
"Please include the proper portion of your bill." - On the envelope for an auto insurance bill.
"The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position." - Instructions for an espresso kettle.
"For heat-retaining corrugated cardboard technology to function properly, close lid." - On a Domino's sandwich box.
"Do not use when temperature exceeds 140 Fahrenheit." - Unknown Wheelbarrow
"Warning: Do not attempt to remove blade while lawnmower is running or plugged into an outlet." - Craftsman Push Mower
"Do not attempt to stop chain with hands." Jonsreds Chainsaw
"Turn off motor before using this product." - On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.