Quote: I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. Author: Isaac Asimov 1920-1992, Russian-born American Author
Quote: One of the most feared expressions in modern times is ''The computer is down'' Author: Norman Augustine American Business Executive, CEO of Martin Marietta
Quote: Electronic aids, particularly domestic computers, will help the inner migration, the opting out of reality. Reality is no longer going to be the stuff out there, but the stuff inside your head. It's going to be commercial and nasty at the same time. Author: J. G. Ballard 1930-, British Author
Quote: I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer. Author: Dave Barry American Humorist, Author
Quote: The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot. Author: Dave Barry American Humorist, Author
Quote: Computer science only indicates the retrospective omnipotence of our technologies. In other words, an infinite capacity to process data (but only data -- i.e. the already given) and in no sense a new vision. With that science, we are entering an era of exhaustivity, which is also an era of exhaustion. Author: Jean Baudrillard French Postmodern Philosopher, Writer
Quote: The sad thing about artificial intelligence is that it lacks artifice and therefore intelligence. Author: Jean Baudrillard French Postmodern Philosopher, Writer
Quote: The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. Author: Nathanie Borenstein Author
Quote: Silicon Valley is like a person running around in front of a steamroller. You can outrun the steamroller on any given day. But if you ever sit down you get squashed. Author: Bob Boschert
Quote: There is never finality in the display terminal's screen, but an irresponsible whimsicality, as words, sentences, and paragraphs are negated at the touch of a key. The significance of the past, as expressed in the manuscript by a deleted word or an inserted correction, is annulled in idle gusts of electronic massacre. Author: Alexander Cockburn 1941-, Anglo-Irish Journalist
Quote: It is hardly surprising that children should enthusiastically start their education at an early age with the Absolute Knowledge of computer science; while they are unable to read, for reading demands making judgments at every line. Conversation is almost dead, and soon so too will be those who knew how to speak. Author: Guy Debord 1931-, French Philosopher
Quote: A computer won't clean up the errors in your manual of procedures. Author: Sheila M. Eby American Business Executive
Quote: The workers and professionals of the world will soon be divided into two distinct groups. Those who will control computers and those who will be controlled by computers. It would be best for you to be in the former group. Author: Lewis D. Eigen American Executive VP of University Research Corp.
Quote: To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer. Those who are serious in ridiculous matters will be ridiculous in serious matters. Author: Farmers Almanac
Quote: I really don't care that I don't have what's current because whatever is at the moment, it will be infinitely better in a few months and even better months later. Author: William Fink Superintendent with American Park Service
Quote: The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers. Author: Sidney J. Harris 1917-, American Journalist
Quote: One of the best things to come out of the home computer revolution could be the general and widespread understanding of how severely limited logic really is. Author: Frank Herbert 1920-1986, American Writer
Quote: Computers WORK, people THINK. Author: IBM Corporation Old Adage American Computer Company
Quote: Man is a slow, sloppy and brilliant thinker; the machine is fast, accurate and stupid. Author: William M. Kelly
Quote: Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. Author: John F. Kennedy 1917-1963, Thirty-fifth President of the USA
Quote: A distributed system is one in which the failure of a computer you didn't even know existed can render your own computer unusable. Author: Leslie Lamport
Quote: I see no reason why anyone would want a computer in their home. Author: Kenneth Olsen American Businessman, Founder of Digital Equipment
Quote: Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. Author: Pablo Picasso 1881-1973, Spanish Artist
Quote: A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history -- with the possible exceptions of hand guns and tequila. Author: Mitch Ratliffe
Quote: There will still be things that machines cannot do. They will not produce great art or great literature or great philosophy; they will not be able to discover the secret springs of happiness in the human heart; they will know nothing of love and friendship. Author: Bertrand Russell 1872-1970, British Philosopher, Mathematician, Essayist
Quote: I have always wished for a computer that would be as easy to use as my telephone. My wish came true. I no longer know how to use my telephone. Author: Bjarne Stronstrup
Quote: Computers in the future will weigh no more than 1.5 tons. [Quoted in Popular Mechanics 1950] Author: Source Unknown
Quote: If you don't know how to do something, you don't know how to do it with a computer. Author: Source Unknown
Quote: I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. Author: Thomas J. Watson 18?-1956, American Businessman, Founder of IBM
Quote: If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. Author: Harry Weinberger
Quote: As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error. Author: Weisert
Quote: I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. Author: Isaac Asimov
Quote: The danger from computers is not that they will eventually get as smart as men, but we will meanwhile agree to meet them halfway. Author: Bernard Avishai
Quote: The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. Author: Nathaniel Borenstein
Quote: If the automobile had followed the same development as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year killing everyone inside. Author: Robert Cringely
Quote: The best way to accelerate a Macintosh is at 9.8m sec sec. Author: Marcus Dolengo
Quote: The computer is a moron. Author: Peter F. Drucker
Quote: Computers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams, but no machine can replace the human spark of spirit, compassion, love, and understanding. Author: Louis Gerstner
Quote: The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers. Author: Sydney J. Harris
Quote: There is only one satisfying way to boot a computer. Author: J. H. Goldfuss
Quote: Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. Author: Doug Larson
Quote: Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers. Author: Edward Shepherd Mead
Quote: What do we want our kids to do? Sweep up around Japanese computers? Author: Walter F. Mondale
Quote: Why shouldn't a PC work like a refrigerator or a toaster? Author: Walter Mossberg
Quote: Computing is not about computers any more. It is about living. Author: Nicholas Negroponte
Quote: Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. Author: Jeff Pesis
Quote: To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. Author: Robert Orben
Quote: Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. Author: Pablo Picasso
Quote: The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there's no law against whacking them around a little. Author: Porterfield
Quote: A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. Author: Mitch Ratcliffe
Quote: They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction. Author: Janet Reno
Quote: Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. Author: Andy Rooney
Quote: Think? Why think! We have computers to do that for us. Author: Jean Rostand
Quote: Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. Author: Steve Wozniak
Quote: Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months. Author: Clifford Stoll
Quote: Computers have lots of memory but no imagination. Author: Anonymous
Quote: The question of whether computers can think is just like the question of whether submarines can swim. Author: Edsger W. Dijkstra
Quote: at the proliferation of personal web pages on the net, it looks like very soon everyone on earth will have 15 Megabytes of fame. Author: M.G. Siriam
Quote: If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. Author: Anonymous
Quote: My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. Author: Penn Jillett
Quote: Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware; those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software. Author: Anonymous
Quote: The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back. Author: Anonymous
Quote: If it draws blood, it's hardware. Author: Anonymous
Quote: I haven't lost my mind; I have a tape back-up somewhere. Author: Anonymous
Quote: Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse? Author: Anonymous
Quote: RAM disk is not an installation procedure. Author: Anonymous
Quote: The attention span of a computer is only as long as its power cord. Author: Anonymous
Quote: Don't anthropomorphize computers - they hate it. Author: Anonymous
Quote: It's not computer literacy that we should be working on, but sort of human-literacy. Computers have to become human-literate. Author: Nicholas P. Negroponte
Quote: The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life. Author: Andrew Brown
Quote: There is a computer disease that anybody who works with computers knows about. It's a very serious disease and it interferes completely with the work. The trouble with computers is that you 'play' with them! Author: Richard P. Feynman
Quote: Jesus saves! The rest of us better make backups. Author: Anonymous
Quote: In God we trust, all others we virus scan. Author: Anonymous
Quote: It's not a bug - it's an undocumented feature. Author: Anonymous
Quote: If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. That'll do them in. Author: Anonymous
Quote: I just wish my mouth had a backspace key. Author: Anonymous
Quote: Version 1 of any software is full of bugs. Version 2 fixes all the bugs and is great. Version 3 adds all the things users ask for, but hides all the great stuff in Version 2. Author: Fred Blechman
Quote: Programmer - an organism that turns coffee into software. Author: Anonymous
Quote: Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. Author: John F. Kennedy
Quote: After growing wildly for years, the field of computing appears to be reaching its infancy. Author: John Pierce
Quote: Writing the first 90 percent of a computer program takes 90 percent of the time. The remaining ten percent also takes 90 percent of the time and the final touches also take 90 percent of the time. Author: N.J. Rubenking
Quote: Few companies that installed computers to reduce the employment of clerks have realized their expectations.... They now need more, and more expensive clerks even though they call them 'operators' or 'programmers.' Author: Peter F. Drucker
Quote: Computer : a million morons working at the speed of light. Author: David Ferrier
Quote: User, n. The word computer professionals use when they mean idiot. Author: Dave Barry
Quote: Any nitwit can understand computers. Many do. Author: Ted Nelson
Quote: A computer is fast and accurate, but it also is completely literal. It doesn't know enough to correct your simplest mistakes; it takes everything you enter exactly as you entered it, and not as you meant it! Author: Peter Aitken
Quote: First learn computer science and all the theory. Next develop a programming style. Then forget all that and just hack. Author: George Carrette
Quote: The effort of using machines to mimic the human mind has always struck me as rather silly. I would rather use them to mimic something better. Author: Edsger Dijkstra
Quote: Technology is ted by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do not understand. Author: Anonymous
Quote: Once a new technology rolls over you, if you're not part of the steamroller, you're part of the road. Author: Stewart Brand
Quote: An idiot with a computer is a faster, better idiot. Author: Rich Julius
Quote: PROGRAM - n. A magic spell cast over a computer allowing it to turn one's input into error messages. v. tr.- To engage in a pastime similar to banging one's head against a wall, but with fewer opportunities for reward. Author: Unknown
Quote: PCMCIA - People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms Author: Unknown
Quote: Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Author: Rich Cook
Quote: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. Author: Charles Sykes
Quote: E-commerce businesses, even e-commerce specialists, have yet to realize that the WWW is first and foremost an emotional experience. Few websites reflect this important priority. Author: Grant Fairley
Quote: Multi-tasking - Screwing everything up simultaneously. Author: Anonymous
Quote: If at first it doesn't work, REBOOT! Author: Anonymous
Quote: In this business, by the time you realize you're in trouble, it's too late to save yourself. Unless you're running scared all the time, you're gone. Author: Bill Gates
Quote: Computers will never replace good old-fashioned human stupidity. Author: Anonymous
Quote: The manual says to insert disk three, but only two will fit. Author: Anonymous
Quote: Technology is the knack of so arranging the world that we do not experience it. Author: Anonymous
Quote: I fear that machines are several centuries ahead of the mortals. Author: Harry Truman
Quote: If Bill Gates had a dime for every time Windows crashes... Oh, wait a minute, he already does. Author: Unknown
Quote: People who buy Macs are the same people who said BETA is better than VHS 15 years ago. Author: Unknown
Quote: A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy. Author: Joseph Campbell
Quote: Anti-glare screens to prevent eye strain??? In my day, you didn't need an anti-glare screen. With the power they consumed, when you turned your computer on, the whole building darkened! Author: Simon Travaglia
Quote: Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as frustrating as reading manuals without the software. Author: Arthur C. Clarke
Quote: Counting in binary is just like counting in decimal if you are all . Author: Glaser and Way
Quote: Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your . Author: Tom Lehrer
Quote: Computers do not solve problems, they execute solutions. Author: Laurent Gasser
Quote: The personal computer market is about the same size as the total potato chip market. Next year it will be about half the size of the pet food market and is fast approaching the total worldwide sales of hose. Author: James Finke
Quote: One of the problems the internet has introduced is that in the electronic village all the village-idiots have internet access. Author: Peter Nelson
Quote: By striving to move the Intel-standard PC world towards a 32-bit operating system, new 32-bit applications and friendlier hardware standards, Microsoft Corp. can be compared to a person trying to kick a whale down the beach. What's amazing is that with Windows 95, the whale moved. Author: Stephen Howard
Quote: Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes. Author: E. W. Dijkstra
Quote: In pioneer days they used oxen for heavy pulling, and when one ox couldn't budge a log, they didn't try to grow a larger ox. We shouldn't be trying for bigger computers, but for more systems of computers. Author: G. Hopper
Quote: And, of course, you have the commercials where savvy businesspeople Get Ahead by using their MacIntosh computers to create the ultimate American business product: a really sharp-looking report. Author: Dave Barry
Quote: pixel, n.: A mischievous, magical spirit associated with screen displays. The computer industry has frequently borrowed from mythology: Witness the sprites in computer graphics, the demons in artificial intelligence, and the trolls in the marketing department. Author: Jeff Meyer
Quote: Artificial Intelligence: the art of making computers that behave like the ones in movies. Author: Bill Bulko
Quote: The Buddha, the Godhead, resides quite as comfortably in the circuits of a digital computer or the gears of a cycle transmission as he does at the top of a mountain or in the petals of a flower. To think otherwise is to demean the Buddha -- which is to demean oneself. Author: Robert Pirsig
Quote: It's a well known fact that computing devices such as the abacus were invented thousands of years ago. But it's not well known that the first use of a common computer protocol occured in the Old Testament. This, of course, was when Moses aborted the Egyptians' process with a control-sea... Author: Tom Galloway
Quote: Too bad men aren't like computers. Predictable, compliant, full of answers but no questions...yet able to deliver an occasional delightful surprise. Author: Brenda Starr
Quote: In a way, staring into a computer screen is like staring into an eclipse. It's brilliant and you don't realize the damage until its too late. Author: Bruce Sterling
Quote: And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (By they I mean computers: I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.) Author: Dave Barry
Quote: An apprentice carpenter may want only a hammer and saw, but a master craftsman employs many precision tools. Computer programming likewise requires sophisticated tools to cope with the complexity of real applications, and only practice with these tools will build skill in their use. Author: Robert L. Kruse
Quote: It would appear that we have reached the limits of what it is possible to achieve with computer technology, although one should be careful with such statements, as they tend to sound pretty silly in 5 years. (stated in 1949) Author: John Von Neumann
Quote: To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer. Author: Farmers' Almanac, 1978
Quote: All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors. Author: Unknown
Quote: Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up. Author: James Magary
Quote: Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining. Author: Jeff Raskin
Quote: Some innovations that would truly benefit consumers never occur for the sole reason that they do not coincide with Microsoft's self-interest. Author: Thomas Penfield Jackson
Quote: To create a new standard it takes something that's not just a little bit different. It takes something that's really new and really captures people's imagination. And the Macintosh, of all the machines I've ever seen, is the only one that meets that standard. Author: Bill Gates
Quote: Mac users swear by their computers. PC users swear at their computers. Author: Anonymous
Quote: It would be just like programmers to shorten 'the year 2000 problem' to 'Y2K'-- exactly the kind of thinking that created this situation in the first place. Author: Steven C. Meyer