Clever Insults
A brain like a BB in a boxcar.
A couple of dilithium crystals short of a warp core.
A couple of knights short of a Crusade.
A couple of togas short of an orgy.
A couple of volts below threshold.
A couplet short of a sonnet.
A day late and a dollar short.
A few birds shy of a flock.
A few bits short of a byte.
A few clues shy of a solution.
A few ears short of a bushel.
A few feet short of the runway.
A few pickles short of a jar.
A few pixels short of an image.
A few screws loose.
A few yards short of the hole.
A flower short of an arrangement.
A goose short of a gaggle.
A handle short of a suitcase.
A hump short of a camel.
A looney tune.
A pane short of a window.
A photographic memory, but the lens cover is glued on.
A quart low.
A room temperature IQ.
A screw loose.
A walking argument for birth control.
A wind-up clock without a key.
Ain't wrapped too tight.
Air between the ears.
All booster - no payload.
Always in the right place, but at the wrong time.
An early example of the Peter Principle.
An ego like a black hole.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
Antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
Any slower and he'd be in reverse.
Attic's a little dusty.
Back burners not fully operating.
Batteries not included.
Born during low tide in the gene pool.
Both oars in the water, but on the same side of the boat!
Brain on cruise control.
Brain speed inversely proportional to mouth speed.
Bright as a Zippo lighter without a flint.
Bright as Alaska in December.
Caboose seems to be pulling the engine.
Cackles a lot, but I ain't seen no eggs yet.
Calling him a pea brain would be an undeserved compliment.
Can easily be confused with facts.
Car's only got three wheels, and one's going flat.
Cheats when filling out opinion polls.
Chimney's clogged.
Clutch is slipping.
Diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Doesn't just know nothing; doesn't even suspect much.
Doesn't know if he's afoot or on horseback.
Doesn't know which side of the toast the butter is on.
Downhill skiing in Iowa.
During evolution his ancestors were in the control group.
Easier to count the bricks left than the bricks missing.
Echoes between the ears.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Encyclopedia’s missing some volumes.
Engine is running, but no one is behind the wheel.
Evidence for the theory of a missing link.
Found his marbles, but is playing jacks with them.
Full throttle, dry tank.
Gasoline engine, diesel fuel.
Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
Gives a lot of bull for somebody what ain't got no cattle.
Got a dozen eggs but some are cracked.
Got a life, but wasn't sure what to do with it.
Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
Half a brick short of a full load.
Has a pulse, but that's about all.
Has all her bricks, but no cement holding them together.
Has the memory of a goldfish.
Has two brains. One is lost and the other is out looking for it.
Hasn't got enough sense to come in out of the rain.
Head whistles in a cross wind.
If he were any more stupid, he would have to be watered twice a week.
Impervious to brain damage.
In the shopping mall of the mind, he's in the toy department.
Infinite space between her ears.
Informationally deprived.
Inspired the slogan, "A mind is a terrible thing to waste."
Intellectually challenged.
Knitting with only one needle.
Lamborghini chassis, moped engine.
Life by Norman Rockwell, screenplay by Stephen King.
Light not burning too bright.
Lightbulb over his head is burned out.
Lights are on but nobody's home.
Little red choo-choo done jumped the track.
Mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence.
Mind is on vacation but his mouth is working overtime.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
Moves his lips to pretend he's reading.
Music by Mozart, choreography by Beavis & Butthead.
No hay in the loft.
Not enough sense to come in out of the rain.
Not only rude, but ugly too.
Not the brightest light on the Christmas tree.
Not the fastest car in the lot.
Not the quickest bunny in the forest.
Not the same since they took him off his medication.
Not the sharpest crayon in the box.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Nutty as a fruitcake.
Off his rocker.
On the batting end of a no-hitter.
Proof God has a sense of humor.
Puzzle is missing a few pieces.
Renewable energy source for hot air balloons.
Rusty springs in the mousetrap.
Sailboat fuel for brains.
Should be the poster child for family planning.
Signs on both ears saying 'Space for Rent.'
Slow as molasses in January.
Slow out of the gate.
Smarter than the average bear.
Smoke doesn't make it to the top of his chimney.
So dumb, blondes tell jokes about him.
So dumb, his dog teaches him tricks.
Some bugs in his software.
Some M&M's missing from her bowl.
Someone blew out his pilot light.
Stumped by anything childproof.
Switch is on, but no one's receiving.
Talks to plants on their own level.
The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead.
Understands English as well as any parrot.
Useful as a chocolate frying pan.
Useful as a concrete canoe.
Useful as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.
Welcome light on, but no one home.