Speak more precisely
Two young soldiers were exchanging their experiences of the service in the Army. "My sergeants are wonderful", said one soldier."I wish I could say the same about mine," said the other.
"You could if you could lie as I do."
A ranger outfit was having training in mountain climbing. One of the men slipped and began falling into a precipice.
"Are you hurt?" asked another.
"I don't know yet," a weak voice was heard, "am still falling!"