South Dakota Jokes
South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
One dark night outside a small town in northern South Dakota , a fire
started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye, it
exploded into massive flames.
The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around. When the
volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company
president rushed over to the fire chief. 'All our secret formulas are in
the vault in the center of the plant'. They must be saved. I will give
$100,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact!
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon, more fire
departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate. In the
distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight..
It was the nearby Norwegian Rural Township volunteer fire company composed
mainly of Norwegians well over the age of 65.
To everyone's amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right
past all the newer sleek engines that were parked outside the plant and,
without even slowing down, drove straight into the middle of the inferno.
Outside, the other firemen watched as the Norwegian old-timers jumped off
right in the middle of the fire and fought it back on all sides..
It was a performance and effort never seen before. Within a short time,
the Norse old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret
formulas. The grateful chemical company president announced that for such
a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000 and walked over to
personally thank each of the brave fire fighters.
The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on video, asking
their chief, 'What are you going to do with all that money?'
' Vell,' said Ole Oleson, the 80-year-old fire chief, 'Da first ting ve
gonna do is fix da brakes on dat focking truck!
A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?'
St. Peter asked.
'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered.
'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.. I yelled, 'Now, back off or I'll kick the c - - p out of all of you!'
St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'
'Couple of minutes ago.'
YOU KNOW YOUR ARE A TRUE South Dakotan
WHEN:
1. "Vacation" means going east or west on I-90 for the weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
12. You idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
13. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
14. Down South to you means Nebraska.
15. A brat is something you eat.
16. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.
17. You go out to a tail gate party every Friday.
18. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
19. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
20. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
21. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your South Dakota friends.