Tennessee Jokes

Tennessee: The Educashun State
 

How do you know when you're staying in a Tennessee hotel?
When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the clerk replies, "Go ahead."

Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

How do you tell if a Tennessee redneck is married?
There's dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.

From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this absolutely true story. 

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Paris, Tennessee. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his truck and trailer and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally, he got into the car and started the engine, switched the wipers on and off - it was a fine, dry summer night, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road. 

The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, 'I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken.'

'I seriously doubt it', said the truly proud Hillbilly. 'Tonight I'm the designated decoy.'

Where was the toothbrush invented?
Tennessee. If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teeth brush.

What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Tennessee?
Documentaries.

One day a hillbilly walks into a police station because he wants to get a job as a deputy, which he's wanted to be his whole life. So he goes over to the sheriff's desk and says to the sheriff, 'I'm here to be a deputy.'

The sheriff laughs and says, 'Well let's see if you're qualified, son. The sheriff asks him a question and the hillbilly gives him an answer. The sheriff says, 'Close enough.'

The sheriff then asks him, 'What are two days of the week that begin with 'T'?'
'Today and tomorrow,' says the hillbilly.

'Not what I was looking for but I'll give it to ya,' says the sheriff.

'Who shot Abraham Lincoln?' the sheriff asks.
The hillbilly just stands there with a blank look on his face.

'Why don't you go home, think about it and come back tomorrow,' the sheriff says to the hillbilly.
So the hillbilly goes home and his wife says to him, 'So sweetpea, did you get the job?'

'I think so, they've already put me on a murder case.'

A guy from Tennessee passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.

The governor's mansion in Tennessee burned down! Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss too. Both books-poof! up in flames and he hadn't even finished coloring one of them.

A Tennessee State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-64 and says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?"
And the driver replies "Bout wut?"

A new law was recently passed in Tennessee. When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.