A Blonde's Review of the Year:
January: Took scarf back to Burberry, too tight!
February: Fired from pharmacy job because of "failure to print labels" idiots, those bottles didn't fit in the printer!
March: Got really excited, finished jigsaw puzzle in six months, box said 2-4 years!
April: Got trapped on an escalator for hours because of power black-out.
May: Tried to make Kool-Aid but had wrong instructions, the ones I got called for 8 cups of water, but they don't fit in those little packets!
June: Wanted to go waterskiing, but couldn't find lake with a slope.
July: Lost breast-stroke swimming competition to cheaters who used their arms!
August: Got locked in my car during a bad rainstorm that almost flooded my car because the sunroof was open.
September: Went to a random convention, turned out to be doctors for the mentally ill. I asked one of them how they knew when somene needed their help. He said, "Usually I ask them a logical question, like 'Captain Cook made four voyages around the world and died on one of them, which one?" I walked away, "Poor man" I thought "thinks everyone is familiar with history."
October: Got fired from M&M factory job for throwing out all the ones with a W on them. Don't care, hate M&Ms anyway, they're so hard to peel!
November: Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days and burned it. I still don't understand that. The instructions clearly said "Bake for 1 hour per pound." Well, I weigh 108 pounds!
December: Saw house across from street on fire, but couldn't call 911 because the operator laughed when I asked her for the number.