Oklahoma Jokes
Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing
YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM OKLAHOMA IF...
- You know the difference between the city of Durant and the city of Doo-rant.
- It doesn't seem odd to see the term "chicken fried chicken" on a menu.
- You have used the phrase "fixin' to" during the last 12 months.
- Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.
- You save all your life for your dream vacation, and use it to go to the OU/Texas game.
- A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.
- It doesn't seem peculiar if your spouse says "I'm going in to town for something" even though you live in town.
- You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Gotebo, and Okemah.
- You can remember the last 12 times a state legislator seriously introduced a bill involving castration, and he didn't mean farm animals.
- You don't turn on the news until 20 minutes past the hour, because that's the only thing you care about anyway.
- You know exactly what calf fries are, and eat them anyway.
- When someone refers to the current season, you have no idea if they mean spring, summer, fall, winter or football.
- "Howdy" seems to be a normal way of greeting another adult, with no irony intended.
- You think that people who complain about the wind in other states are sissies.
- It bothers you not one iota to use an airport named for a man who died in an airplane crash.
- A bad traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a four-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the other go first.
- You know in which state Miam-uh is and in which state Miam-ee is.
Redneck Computer Terms
BACKUP - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods
BAR CODE - Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern
BUG - The reason you give for calling in sick
BYTE - What your pit bull dun to cusin Jethro
CACHE - Needed when you run out of food stamps
CHIP - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in
TERMINAL - Time to call the undertaker
CRASH - When you go to Junior's party uninvited
DIGITAL - The art of counting on your fingers
DISKETTE - Female Disco dancer
FAX - What you lie about to the
IRS HACKER - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking
HARDCOPY - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos
INTERNET - Where cafeteria workers put their hair
KEYBOARD - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere
MAC - Big Bubba's favorite fast food
MEGAHERTZ - How your head feels after 17 beers
MODEM - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall
MOUSE PAD - Where Mickey and Minnie live
NETWORK - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line
ONLINE - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test
ROM - Where the pope lives
SCREEN - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch
SERIAL PORT - A red wine you drink with breakfast
SUPERCONDUCTOR - Amtrak's Employee of the year
SCSI - What you call your week-old underwear