Nebraska Jokes

Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Q: What does the "N" on the Nebraka football helmets stand for?
A: Knowledge

Right before the end at Little Big Horn, Custer sent out his scout to get some intelligence on the developing situation.
The scout came back to Custer and told him, "I've got good news and bad news about the situation, General."
Custer said, "Well give me the bad news first."
The scout replied, "Well, it looks like we are hopelessly surrounded by over a thousand Indian warriors and I don't think we stand a chance to come out of this alive."
Custer said, "Oooh that sounds awful. What is the good news?"
The scout answered, "Well it looks like we don't have to go back across Nebraska...."

Q: How do you know that the toothbrush was invented in Nebraska?
A: Because if it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called the “teethbrush.”

Breaking News!!!!
Nebraska Football Coach will only dress 10 players for the Iowa/Nebraska game.
The rest can actually dress themselves!

You Know You're From Nebraska if

You don't have to be told what Aksarben is or that it's Nebraska spelled backward.

You think the feedlot smells like money.

You take pride in knowing that on Saturdays, Memorial stadium is the third largest city in the state.

You lie to other Nebraskan's about being from Omaha.

You know what a Runza is.

You miss the hog reports on the radio, even though you never owned any.

Kitty Clover potato chips and Robert's Milk were the best part of the meal.

You know how to pronounce Beatrice, Norfolk and Kearney.

Back East means Chicago. You know what U.P. stands for.

When people talk about a fly-over state, you think they're talking about the pheasant season.

You think pheasants are the most beautiful bird in the world.

You're proud that you have the only unicameral legislature in the country. You wonder what really goes on in those bicameral legislatures, anyway.

You know that the statue on the dome of the state capital is actually sowing seed - not bowling.

You're proud that Nebraska isn't one of those square states like Wyoming or Colorado.

You can drive through towns like Wahoo with a straight face.

You don't associate trees with national forests.

You don't have to be told what "knee high by the Fourth of July" refers to.

You can't figure out why Johnny Carson left in the first place.

You think Highway 6 is more scenic that I-80, which you think is the best thing to come out of Iowa.

You can drive from Grand Island to North Platte without falling asleep.

You know that Grand Island has nothing to do with water-except the Platte River, which doesn't really count.

You have signed a petition demanding sainthood for Tom Osborne.

You are still surprised when radio stations don't include polka on the top 40.

You can still see the ruts of the Oregon Trail in your backyard and keep promising the wife that you'll get them fixed.

You don't understand why other states even bother to try raising beef.

You believe that the worst steak in Nebraska is still better than any other steak, anywhere.

You believe that vegetarians should be banned in Nebraska.