Nevada Jokes
Nevada: Poker!
Knock Knock
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Nevada!
Nevada who?
Nevada saw you look so bad, you should be bed!
The Geni There are three girls strainded on an island: A brownhead from New York, A redhead from Nevada, and a blonde from Texas. THey find a geni bottle, and are all granted 1 wish each. The Brown wishes to go back to New York, so poof she was in New York. The red wishes to go back to Nevada, so poof she was in Nevada. The Blonde says that since those were her best friends she wants them both back here.
This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas, but there are more Catholic Churches than casinos (in Vegas).
Not surprisingly, some worshipers at Sunday Services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed. Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings.
The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting. Then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.
This is done by the chip monks.
You must be from Las Vegas if:
1.When you go to different cities, you're amazed things aren't open after 9 pm.
2.You know the spaghetti bowl has nothing to do with food and you want nothing to do with it.
3.You’re always lamenting about how much you miss the good old days when the mob ran everything.
4.You notice your car overheating... before you drive it.
5.You tell all your friends that you never go down on the strip unless you have visitors from out of town, but you’ve already seen seventeen shows this year.
6.You’ve ever been in the same room, at the same time, with an entertainer, a local politician, and a Mafia capo…and the conversation was about the good old days when the mob ran everything.
7.You actually know a “Blue Man”.
8.Standing on a corner, in any part of town, a friend ever asked if you’d like to go to Starbuck’s, and you ask, “The one next door, or the one across the street?”
9.You’ve ever actually fried an egg on the sidewalk…and you had scrubbed the cement down first so the egg wouldn’t go to waste.
10.You claim that you don’t like buffets, but your refrigerator is pasted with two-fers for every buffet in town.
11.You remember when “buffets” were known locally as “chuck wagons”, and real cowboys ate there along with the tourists. That was in the good old days when the mob ran everything.
12.You get bored in the Entertainment Capital of the World.
13.You need to walk through a casino to see a movie.
14.Your windows are tinted so dark that you can’t see out during the day, let alone at night, but the temp in your car still reaches 180 degrees in July.
15.Your idea of Sunday with the family is touring several dozen of the 300 or so model homes currently available. Number and location changes daily.
16.You hate California drivers, especially when they are out touring the same model homes as you.
17.You’ve ever been snow skiing at Mt. Charleston and water skiing at Lake Mead … in the same day.
18.You tell all your friends that you miss cold weather – but when the temperature drops below 70°, you put on every sweater you own.
19.You have had to assure your friends back East that NO, we don’t all live in hotel rooms on the Strip, there is actually a very large city here with normal type houses.
20.You’ve ever stood waist deep in your pool with dust in your eyes during a sandstorm. 21.You no longer associate bridges with water, only shade.