North Dakota Jokes
North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
In North Dakota who won the beauty contest? Nobody.
Do you know what a mop is in North Dakota? The state flag.
Why can't you get get ice cubes in North Dakota? Because the old lady who had the recipe died.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM NORTH DAKOTA IF:
You've never met any celebrities.
Your idea of a traffic jam is 2 cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
Vacation means going to Medora.
You've seen all the biggest bands, 20 yrs after they were popular.
You measure distance in hours.
East means to Fargo.
You think going to Minneapolis requires a passport.
You know several people who have hit a buffalo.
The most common reason for the pastor being late for church is hitting a buffalo.
Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
Your school finals were canceled for harvest.
You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
You've had to switch from "heat" to A/C in the same day!
You know what's high by the 4th of July.
Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
You see people wear bib overalls to funerals and church.
The people wearing bib overalls are millionaires.
The people wearing 3 piece suits are on minimum wage.
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
You only lock your car in August, so it doesn't get filled with zucchini.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to town I wanna go with."
All the festivals across the state are named after fruit,vegetable, grain or animal.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked, keys in the car.
You think 4 major food groups are: beef, chokecherry wine, pork and Jell-O with marshmallows.
You carry jumper cables in your car.
You carry a blizzard survival kit in your car 12 months a year.
You only own 3 spices; salt, pepper, ketchup.
You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because potholes are filled with snow.
You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
You think sexy lingerie consists of tube socks and a flannel nightie.
The local paper covers National and International headlines on one page, but needs 6 pages for local sports.
You think deer season is a national holiday.
You find -30 degrees F a "little chilly".
You find 3 feet of snow a minor inconvenience.
You know all 4 Seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter and Construction.
The definition of summer is bad sledding.
You know if another North Dakotan is from southern, middle or northern ND as soon as they open their mouth.
There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more, but McDonalds are spread out every 100 miles.
You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your North Dakota Friends!!!
Why did the North Dakotan go around the block 24 time? His blinker was stuck.
Did you here about the North Dakotan who broke his arm while raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Why do North Dakotans have such pretty noses? Because they are hand picked.
Why did the North Dakotan put a hole in his umbrella? He wanted to know when the rain stoped.
A North Dakotan Game: Two North Dakotans go into a dark closet. One sneeks out, and the other one tries to guess who is missing.
Did you hear about the North Dakotan who applied for a job as a lifeguard in a car wash?