Virginia Jokes

Virginia Tech Hokies Fans – Awesome or Scary?Virginia Jokes

Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?


Virginia: Please don't confuse us with West Virginia!


HOW ABOUT THEM WAHOOS?

 

Do you know why the UVA football team should change its name to the "Possums"?

- Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

 


 

What do you get when you drive slowly by the UVA campus?

- A degree.

 


 

How do you get a UVA graduate off your porch?

- Pay him for the pizza.

 

 


 

Did you hear that a UVA player was almost killed in a tragic horseback-riding accident? - He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Thank God the manager of the K-Mart came out and unplugged it.

 


 

What is the difference between a Wahoo and Rice Crispies?

- Rice Crispies know what to do in a bowl.

 


Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the UVA campus?

- The officials had to check ID's before letting anyone back on board.

 


 

What do a UVA student and a Virginia Tech student have in common?

- They both got accepted to UVA.

 


 

What do UVA grads and tornadoes have in common?

- They both move around a lot, but they all wind up in trailer parks.

 


 

How many UVA freshmen does it take to change a light bulb? - None, it's a sophomore course.

 


 

Falling in Love

A man fell in love with the girl of his dreams. They were perfect for each other, except for one minor problem: She was an Virgina Cavaliers fan and he was a Duke Blue Devils fan. He decided to make the ultimate sacrifice and become a Cavaliers fan. He went to the doctor and asked if there was an easy way to do this. The doctor replied, "Yes, it's a very simple procedure. What we do is go in and remove half your brain. When you wake up, you will be an Virginia Cavaliers fan." The man agrees, and the next week goes into surgery. After he wakes up the doctor comes up to him concerned. "Sir, I apologize, but there was a mix-up with the scalpel. Instead of removing half your brain we removed 3/4 of it. How do you feel?" The man sat up, looked around, and said "GO HOKIES!"
 

Sheep Coitus

A Virginia Tech Hokies fan and a Virginia Cavaliers fan were driving along when all of a sudden the Hokies fan slams on the brakes. There was a sheep with her head stuck in the fence and the Virginia Tech fan said "We Hokies never pass up an opportunity like this!" And he gets out and has his way with the sheep. Then he says to the Virginia fan, "Your turn"... And the Cavaliers fan bends over and sticks his head in the fence.