Mississippi Jokes
Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
Charming
Two delicate blossoms of Southern femininity, one from Mississippi and the other from Texas, were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion. The Mississippian said, "When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me."
The Texan lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice?"
The lady from Mississippi continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me that fine Cadillac automobile you see parked in the drive."
Again, the Texas lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice?"
The first woman boasted, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet."
Yet again, the Texas lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice?"
The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"
The Texas lady replied, "My husband sent me to charm school."
"Charm school!" the first woman cried. "Land sakes, child, what on Earth for?"
The Texas lady responded, "So that instead of saying, 'Who gives a crap,' I learned to say, 'Well, isn't that nice?'"
Mississippi Redneck
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got his license number."
Spelling Mississippi
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of he men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm just tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
Y'all know you're from the great state of Mississippi when:
You've been to or know about the towns of:
Hot Coffee, Whynot, Soso, Shuqualak, Okalona, and Noxapater.
When someone talks about The Flag, you know exactly what flag they're refering to.
In any given parking lot, every third car has a Flag bumpersticker.
Your neighbor (or yourself) has the Confederate battle flag in his yard and nothing else.
You eat coon hash.
You know where chittlins come from.
You know it's coke, not "pop", or "soda."
You know pop is a noise or an action (ie the coon popped out of his hole), not a soft drink.
You can tell, purely by accent, whether a person is from the Black Belt, the Red Clay Hills, the Piney Woods, or the Delta.
You know that the Delta is not the one below New Orleans.
Your church's attendance is reduced by half on opening day of bow season.
The preacher is not there on opening day of gun season.
The last time it snowed, you took fifteen photos and put some in your freezer for old time's sake.